Great post, Mila.
I had a very similar discussion with a friend just this week as well, so I guess it's in the air... ;-)
You pretty much summed it up in your post. I also recommend connecting with some folks on Linkedin or other platforms as a way to circumvent this issue. A couple of years ago, I remember sending a friend request to an ex-work contact in Toronto. She declined the request on Facebook, but sent me an invitation via Linkedin, explaining that she kept her Facebook for personal friends, and Linkedin for professional and work-related connections. I totally got that, and I thought it was a great approach. Having said that, it was back in 2007 or 2008... now, it seems we have a bigger conundrum with Facebook, simply because of its sheer omnipresence in our everyday lives.
Playing with settings on Facebook is probably the best option here. I make my posts "friends only" by default, and manually make them "public" when I feel it's not personal stuff or of general interest to folks you subscribed to receive my posts. Works for me, at least.
Cheers from Quebec City,
@gonzogonzo Frederic! So nice to have your comments to add to the discussion. I agree the key is in the Facebook settings. If we as individuals manage ourselves in the settings the experience is quite "safe" - I think the problem lies in that people aren't fully educated in exploring all these areas, and let's face it most people are too busy to start tinkering around in the privacy options and other settings. They've joined Facebook to share photos with friends or arrange events, and rarely make full use of this incredible network's capability. It's only human and understandable, hopefully by talking about the issues, friends can understand the settings better and realize Facebook provides great opportunity to expand connections, drive deeper dialogue and stay in touch. We all need our friends, for personal and professional growth, it's a shame to shy away because of fear :)
And once again, its now easy to keep up with people simply by hitting subscribe, people need to realize its a great option to get to know each other when relationships are not quite yet at that personal level.
Thanks again for your comment Frederic! Great to have you in my community!